Lady Kaka and other parrots on my porch

16 November 2019

She’s perched on the railing that guards the edge of our veranda, or porch as they call it in North America, staring into our room through the full length glass sliding door. I’m looking back out at her, captivated by her audacity. We’re separated by no more than a couple of metres and a sheet of glass. She can see me but is totally un-phased.

Even when I slide the door open and step closer she’s untroubled, and simply watches me calmly. She doesn’t need reassurance but I offer it anyway, whispering to her, telling her that I find her beautiful and won’t ever harm her. She tips her head to one side quizzically, weighing me up.

I can read her mind. Are you for real? she’s asking. Why do you people always act so weird around me? She’s plainly in charge of this encounter, which is like a thousand other meetings she’s had before with guests occupying our room.

I, however, haven’t read the script. I’m lost for words, unsure what to do next. Wild birds aren’t meant to be like this. Is she ill? Or mad? Or am I the crazy one, standing here in awe of this kaka, this big parrot with olive grey plumage, yellow sideburns and a bloody enormous bill?

I watch her intently, and she watches me back. It’s a Mexican standoff, and neither of us wants to make the first move. Finally she gets bored – I’ve obviously buggered up the audition – and utters a piercing, eardrum-exploding squawk as she flies off into a nearby tree. Lady Kaka has left the building.

The kaka is one of three species of parrot in New Zealand, and is still relatively common on Stewart Island. This is a good thing, as – along with most of the country’s endemic birds – on the mainland it’s in big trouble due to mammalian predation and habitat loss.

Although kaka are doing quite well here, we’d expected to have to work hard to see one. We certainly hadn’t imagined a bird would pop down to our accommodation to say hi. And it’s not just one: in all, during our three days on Stewart, no fewer than four kaka make themselves known to us on and around our porch.

We also watch the kaka feeding on pieces of apple that have been left for them on the nearby bird table. With dextrous feet they grasp the fruit and hold it up to their enormous bills, which quickly shred and devour it.

As well as lunch, love is plainly in the air. One of the other birds makes eyes at Lady Kaka, who, taking after her namesake, is loud, elegant and feisty and therefore a good catch in the weird world of parrots. He displays to her and chases her along the railing, squawking loudly as he does so. He’s persistent, but she’s not impressed. He obviously needs to try harder if he’s going to have his wicked way with her.

Eventually Lady Kaka flies away, leaving the suitor looking disconsolate. After a few seconds he takes off in pursuit, but his heart isn’t really in it. He knows when he’s beaten. There’s no doubt who wears the trousers around here: Lady Kaka, the parrot on my porch.

5 thoughts on “Lady Kaka and other parrots on my porch

  1. V December 4, 2019 / 9:25 am

    This is rather naive of me to say but I thought all parrots talked?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Platypus Man December 4, 2019 / 12:02 pm

      Only if they’ve been to a top university like Cambridge or Harvard or McGill. The rest of them just squawk and shriek and shout incoherently, like students after a night out on the razzle. 😉


  2. tanjabrittonwriter December 5, 2019 / 12:56 am

    Lady Kaka is ravishing. I love the way she holds and nibbles on the apple. Her American (almost) namesake might be inspired to emulate her beautiful ensemble 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Platypus Man December 5, 2019 / 8:49 am

      Yes, she’s gorgeous, and also a bit of flirt the way she cocks her head on one side and looks seductively at you. A beautiful bird that twitchers and “ordinary birders” like me find irresistible.

      Liked by 1 person

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